Achievements: Whoring or Boring?

Oh God I have the hardest time coming up with good titles. I am so sorry.

Recently there have been a great deal of Buy 2 Get 1 Free deals out there. That's a good deal for new games, but like most people I don't have $120 to drop. As a better value proposition I began to look at half priced PS3 games, specifically Greatest Hits titles. Three games for $60 is pretty sexy, but there are so many! To try and narrow down down the list of potential buys I decided to check which had Trophy support. And that brings us to Achievements.

Much has been made about Achievements ever since the XBOX 360 implemented them and the overarching Gamerscore. The PS3 and Steam have since followed suit, and even some iPhone game developers. No matter the console, the two vocal groups that have made themselves heard are the "ZOMG achievements r0x0rs!!1", and the "stfu achievements r 4 gae wh0res!111!". There is of course a gigantic group of people that don't seem to care either way as long as they get to play video games, never saying anything. Are they bad people for not joining in on a pointless rage-filled internet debate? Yes.

Personally I prefer to play a game with trophies. I Always thought the concept of achievements in a video game was just a touch on the retarded side. Then I did something neat while playing Little Big Planet and a colorful icon and some text popped up in the right hand corner. Next thing you know I was selling my body on the street for trophies. Not really but one addiction is fairly comparable to another. Except I don't live in a cardboard box, and there are no track marks on my arms. Needles scare me. Cardboard scares me too but for a completely different reason. One that has absolutely nothing to do with trophies. Trophies which add value to a game by increasing play time. See how I brought that around?

The downside is that they have absolutely no value outside of a very small scope of life. Who gives a shit if you did 17,000 jumping jacks in Beijing Olympics 2008? I certainly don't but it's less because of the mediocrity of the feat and more because that was a terrible game. Anything with Michael Phelps in it is a crime against Humanity. Come to think of it was he even in it? No one will ever know.

Do you think achievements give you a sense of accomplishment and nerd bragging rights? You are correct. Do you think they are ultimately pointless and break the atmosphere? You are correct. But you are also a fun killer, and a little bit of a douche nozzle. Do you not care at all? You are ULTRA CORRECT.